How to Kiss a Death Eater
by BeaterGirl
Summary: Severus Snape has recently heard some disturbing news. Lily's days as a single Head Girl may be numbered. That is, if she agrees to be Potter's girlfriend. This cannot happen. So a scheme is hatched, and the Kissing Lessons begin.


**Author's Note: **This was a bit of an experiment for me, based off of something random someone once said while watching OotP...FanFreak...Anyway, it was a prompt-ish type thing, and that prompt was Kissing Lessons. This is what my oddball mind came up with. Enjoy!

**Discalimer:** I do not own Hogwarts, Severus Snape (although I wish I did), Lily Evans, or any of the lovely fictional characters we obsess over. If I did, I would NOT be posting work here, and would be lounging around in a coffee shop somewhere in Scotland...

----------------------------------

It was your average December day, and Hogwarts castle was buzzing in pre-holiday excitement. The train home left the next day, and it was nearly impossible to find anyone who wasn't thrilled about going home, and celebrating Christmas.

Nearly impossible, but not totally, because there was one boy who wasn't going home, and was certainly not enthusiastic about another holiday where everyone but him got gifts and sweets. Severus Snape sat beside the stairs in the Entrance Hall, trying to hear what was being said above him.

"Seriously? I…Mean, really?"

"Yeah, Padfoot. I'm going to ask her as soon as we get back next term."

Severus could imagine the look on Sirius Black's face as his friend spoke. Hatred bubbled up inside him at the thought of James Potter, and this poor unfortunate girl he was speaking of. What horrors did Potter have in store for her?

"Wow, James. I mean, I knew you had always liked Lily, but I didn't think you two were actually…on speaking terms." Sev heard a laugh echo across the Hall, and his fists clenched. Lily. They were talking about Lily. His Lily. The one thing in the world that he would not let someone else have. What right did Potter have to her? None.

"We've actually been getting along rather well. I think it's time I asked her about us being an item. I rather like the idea." Sev gagged. No. This couldn't happen. He wouldn't allow it.

"Brilliant, mate. Well, what d'you say we…"

As Black and Potter moved farther up the stairs and out of hearing distance, Severus turned his black eyes toward the ever-flowing stream of bodies moving through the Entrance Hall. He hated his life. Why was it that the only thing on the planet he really wanted, wouldn't even talk to him? All because of one little slip-up.

He'd even apologized to Lily for calling her a Mudblood. He honestly hadn't meant it. After being in Slytherin long enough, he became desensitized to the word. It was simply another term for Muggle-born, albeit a slightly derisive one.

And now Potter was getting ready to stake his claim on her. Severus shoved away from his dark corner, and began pacing the Entrance Hall. He had to stop it. He had to make her see that he was the one she needed, not some arrogant prat with a Beater's bat up his ass. These sorts of thoughts crowded Severus' head for several minutes, until finally, a voice broke through his mind.

"Severus! What on earth are you doing?" He looked up to see a pale, curly-haired witch looking at him through hooded eyes. Bellatrix Black. He sighed, and stopped his pacing. "Thinking," he muttered, "About how I'd love to murder—"

"Potter?" A wild grin spread across her face, and she laughed, a high cackle that befitted the Muggle idea of witches. "Oh, Sevvy, you're obsessed! I say you go after that Mudblood, take her, then dump her, and get on with your life! She's _trash_, Severus. Use her like trash. Trick her into wanting you." And with that, the vindictive seventeen-year-old swung away, laughing and twirling her wicked-looking wand.

Severus blinked, and hot fury washed over him. Trash, was she? Well, what did that mad inbred bat know about anything? Severus resumed his pacing, stopped, turned around, began to walk toward the dungeon, stopped again, turned again, and began to walk up the stairs. He didn't want to see any more of his self-centered Housemates. As he stepped onto the bottom step, a gaggle of Gryffindor girls burst from a hallway at the top of the flight of stairs.

"Ooh, I can't believe James is going to ask her! It's about time!" A dumpy dark haired witch giggled as she spoke to the blonde beside her.

"I know! Poor Lily, though. Imagine having to go into that situation never being kissed! If it was me, I'd want practice," the blonde said, giggling. "I'd…open up a kissing booth, or something. Get something under my belt. Ask someone for lessons." The girl blushed, and the brunette's eyes widened.

"Lily's never been kissed before?"

"Nope."

The chatter faded, and Severus focused on one part of the conversation. Lily hadn't ever been kissed. There was a part of him, no, all of him wanted to steal that from Potter. Severus deserved that kiss, and the girl that went with it. He loved Lily. Potter just wanted a bed warmer. But how? How could he get that kiss?

And then it all fell into place. Lessons. Bellatrix. Lily. Perfect.

With a grin, he swooped up the stairs, scaring the two girls that were walking down them, and laughed. The term had ended. Which meant Potter, Black, and almost everyone but he and Lily would be leaving the next day. It was so convenient that she had opted to stay alone that Christmas. Of course, it probably had more to do with that idiot sister of hers than her true desires, but he didn't care at that moment.

He was going to kiss Lily Evans.

----------------------------------

Lily yawned. It was really too early for her to be up on a day there were no classes, but there you go. She couldn't help it. It was practically a part of her existence to wake up at this hour, every day. She rolled out of her four-poster bed, and looked around. The silence was refreshing. Not that she didn't love her Housemates, but she did enjoy being alone occasionally.

Christmas. One of the best holidays, in her opinion. She loved the snow, and the happiness. However, in order to maintain the happiness needed to make Christmas good, she and her sister, Petunia could not be within shouting distance of each other. Ever since Lily had gotten her Hogwarts letter, her relationship with her sister had gotten more and more strained, until finally, last summer, Petunia had snapped. So Lily wasn't going home to deal with sniffs and hateful stares. She had sent her parents an owl apologizing, and that was that.

The Common room was deserted as she walked trough it, heading for the Portrait Hole. She was the only Gryffindor in her year to stay over Christmas, and one of seven altogether. She was glad to be somewhat alone. It gave her time to sort out her head. Especially where James Potter was concerned. Being Head Boy had really changed him. She found herself actually enjoying his company, something she thought would never happen, not in a million years. But he was funny, and loyal, and a lot less idiotic than he had acted over the years.

She had spent a lot of time alone with him recently, and had enjoyed it. And then, on top of it all, she had gotten wind that after the holiday, he was planning on asking her to be more than just his friend. And Lily was actually planning on saying yes.

Lily smiled slightly to herself as she reached the Portrait Hole. Humming slightly, she gave the portrait a good shove, and all of a sudden, she heard a loud "Oof!" come from the other side. She gasped, and jumped out to see who she had hit. "I'm so sorry—"

Lily froze. There, on the ground outside the Gryffindor Tower, was Severus. "Oh," she said before turning to begin the walk toward the Great Hall.

"Wait! Lily!" She heard him following her, but she didn't stop. Her chest felt constricted as she listened to his feet hit the stone floor, getting closer by the second. "Lily, please? Wait for me." She sighed in exasperation, and turned to face him. "What, Severus?"

He blinked, and then looked at his feet. Lily felt her curiosity start stirring. What was going on? Finally, he looked up at her with wide eyes, and a miserable expression on his face. "I have a problem, Lily."

"And what is that?" she said, keeping her voice cool. She shouldn't be talking to him.

Severus ran a hand through his long hair. It was funny how unlike James he did that. Severus did it out of nerves. James did it to show off. "Well… TheresthisgirlIlikeandIwannakissher."

Lily blinked. "What?" I—I missed that."

Severus sighed. "Okay, okay. Look, there's this girl, and I want to kiss her. Badly. But I've never kissed anyone, and I. Don't. Know. How! And you're the only other girl I know that used to be my friend, and I can't ask anyone else what to do…" He trailed off, and looked at her imploringly.

Lily looked at him in disbelief. "And what do you want me to do? Be your guinea pig? No way, Sev. It's not going to happen." She began walking again, absolutely disgusted. Why in the world would she do something like that for him? Before she could get very far, hands caught her shoulders and spun her back around.

"Look, I'm sorry we fought, and I'm sorry I hurt you. I know you'll never forgive me, but please…help me? I need you."

Lily looked down at the hands on her shoulders, and back up into the face of Severus. When had he gotten taller than her? She sighed. "Fine. But," she said as he opened his mouth, "This doesn't mean I'll like it, it doesn't mean we're squared away. It means I need the practice too." Which was true. If James really was planning on asking her…she needed to be able to pull of a romantic and perfect kiss. A rehearsal would do her good. She just wished it didn't have to be Severus.

A look flashed across the boy's face as she mentioned needing the practice, but he hid it expertly, and smiled. Impressive. Maybe he was feeling a bit more remorseful than she'd given him credit for. "Lily, Thank you! I will always owe you one!" Lily gasped as he hugged her tightly, and tired not to notice how much her body liked being hugged by him. It felt like her childhood. She pushed him away, and frowned. "So, when are we doing this?"

Severus was silent for a bit before replying. "What do you think about this afternoon, say, one? There are a bunch of empty classrooms in the dungeon."

Lily shook her head. "No dungeons. Too cold. Especially this time of year. What about…that one?" She pointed to a wooden door down the hallway. "No one's ever in there, and it's fairly clean."

"Yeah, great. Anything." Severus smiled at her, and Lily fought the urge to scream. He wasn't her old friend. He just wasn't the same person. But he sure looked like it. Same small smile, same pale skin, he was too skinny, and had hair too long, and a nose too big. He looked like her friend. But he just wasn't.

"Okay then, one o'clock in that classroom?"

He nodded. "See you then."

----------------------------------

Severus was on a high. It had worked. She had agreed to help him, and he hadn't even had to use the story he cooked up about the girl (who was Bellatrix). He had hoped the 'I need you' would suffice, and it did, just like it used to. He knew her too well.

The only cloud in his sky was her saying she needed the practice too. For who? That good-for-nothing Potter? Surely she didn't return his affections. The thought made him want to vomit. Severus passed up breakfast that morning; instead he made his way down to the empty Common Room, thankful that his Housemates all had plans and mansions to go home to. It gave him time to be blissfully free of any demands and orders. He wasn't a slave, but some people treated him as such. He was too cowardly-looking. But he wasn't a coward. He was not.

Severus shook those thoughts out of his head, and instead focused on Lily as he plopped into a black armchair. How her eyes had softened as he said he needed her, if only slightly. Her auburn hair had shone in the torchlight, the different red and brown hues in it accented by the flickering light. How the freckles on her face brushed across her cheeks in the perfect shape to rise as she smiled. How warm she had felt as he hugged her and how soft she was.

And her prefect, untouched lips, round, full and expressive. They were his. Severus smiled, and felt his chest tighten. He had won. Or at least, he would if they went trough with it. And they would, he had no doubt. He was going to kiss Lily Evans.

It was a wonderful day.


End file.
